Worries about distracted parenting

I’m noticing more and more lately, when taking Chewey to the park in the afternoons, how little attention some parents pay to their children these days. My observations lead me to worry about the effect that mobile devices will have on the next generation – not from the kids’ using them but  from their parents’ neglect.

The other day I saw a dad supposedly watching his kids from a park bench while the boys were climbing on playground equipment carrying sticks. What a recipe for disaster! But the dad was busy talking on his cell phone, apparently engaged in a business conversation with a colleague. Dad’s gaze was directed toward the play structure, but his eyes appeared to be focused far off (if at all). A nanny with another child in the group took the sticks away – disaster averted this time – but didn’t explain why to these two boys, only to her charge. The two boys – perhaps five and seven years old – ran to Dad to complain, but he turned away from them until his conversation was finished about five minutes later.

I wasn’t shocked by this – I have become accustomed to seeing parents with tablets and mobile phones, reading or playing games while their children play in the park. Is this any different from knitting or reading while the kids watch a DVD or Netflix? I know that sometimes Gabriel needs quiet time sitting on the sofa, and if Wonder Pets gets him to be still for a few minutes I’ll try to ignore how stupid it is. Knitting helps me not to lose my mind while he's “watching.”.

But then, I find it too easy to check email on my phone or iPad while he’s playing with his trains and then not direct my attention back to him until he demands that I do. I remember spending hours with my kids in the sandbox, or on the floor with shape-sorters and puzzles, listening to their chatter and marveling at how quickly they were learning, chuckling at some of the strange things that came out of their mouths. I just hope today’s kids get enough attention from their parents – and that their parents will have wonderful stories to tell down the road.

And I’ll try to remember this, too, when I’m with Gabriel in November. He deserves my undivided attention as much of the time as possible – and I will be rewarded with memories to get me through the long stretches we are apart!